*** (I was trying to get drunk all afternoon)

I was trying to get drunk all afternoon

(I could have done it with someone

but was drinking alone)

it's after midnight

and I am not drunk

I am still on my own

and I have mastered

all of the tricky parts

of being silent

...

I drink more

too stubborn

to give up

*** (if you follow me tonight)

if you follow me tonight

and we enter together this

small

and dark

room

I might tell you

how much

I hate this city
with buildings
ill from dwarfism
so far
far away
from the sky

I might tell you
how all of the streets
are too narrow
and leave no space
to be

I might tell you
about the nights
flowing in the limbo
out of time
but so much
in space
here
here
never somewhere
else

you hold my chin
upwards
when I try
to push you
out

- into the streets
and the draft
feels like
the breathe
of a stranger

(horrible

awful

town)

*** (let's just forget ourselves)

let’s just forget ourselves

you - me

and me – you

because there are

no words

to describe us

together

let’s forget ourselves

and get drunk

on our own

you

and I

at the Korsakoff’s place

where every empty bottle

stands for every empty promise

and every smoked cigarette

is an anaesthetic

let’s just forget our

past selves

and what we could have become

…

forgetting to forget

we start reading

thesaurus.

darling -

- pass me the light...

*** (you wake me up)

you wake me up

in the middle of the night

and walk to the roof

we’ve never managed

to see the sunrise

but tonight

we are watching stars

and Mars

I let myself

get lost in time

and it’s easy to imagine

that this is our

last night on Earth

...

we go back to bed

just before the dawn

this way it’s easier

to pretend

that day

has never arrived

*** (I don't even swear now)

I don’t even swear now

when I wake up

there is a deep silence

within me

without any words

maybe with few exclamations

and an ellipsis

with this silence

I can knock off birds from the sky

and summon the snow

under the shower

I allow hum of the water

to fill me up with the sound

…

fuck.