question

I‘ve asked you so many times

maybe not very loud

still – so many times

I stood in the window

in the cold

and rain was coming to the room

I’ve asked you so many times

in the cold

in the rain

at night

maybe I whispered

but –

- I whispered

so many fucking times

I’ve asked you so many times

allergies

I feel a bit more

even when the sun is behind the clouds

and flower beds so far away

and when the metal doesn’t touch my skin

there is no people around

no need to look anyone in the eye

but I still look down

I feel a bit more

a bit further

it’s a general sensitivity to the world

to the air

to the blood

to the time

I squint

without knowing

which of the allergies got to me

this time

I feel a bit more

bruises (for MKO)

ten years ago

after we woke up

I was telling you the stories

about every new bruise

on our legs

about every scratch

about every scab

you were putting the kettle on

to make us

tea

bruises exploded

like stars

they have spread blue tint

all over our skin

and died quietly

after a few weeks

now the stories remain

untold

silenced

waited through

I swallow bitter saliva

when I discover them in the morning

if I happen to think of you

I smile daftly

galaxies are being born

and die

and everything else

is already so far away.

silent April

I get out from the bus

and extend my silent hand

(everything is silent in me:

hair, eyes, whole body)

he mirrors this gesture

‘I know the place

where birds go to die’

he knows the rules of this game

and silently walks next to me

with his long silent fingers

and deaf pupils

hot air trembles

when we shatter it with our

breaths

silent collaboration

of the substance

entelechy

just before we fall asleep

we stop pretending

and hiding behind the eye-lash curtains

and double thoughts

image of me

reflects in your eyes

it’s much bigger than in real life:

I am bigger than the whole room

than the whole house

my head touches the moon

later on we will vaguely remember this

we have fallen asleep before

all of that was implemented into life

during breakfast we talk about

silly things

or hurt each other a little bit

because then you don’t have to say

“I love you”

scent

you put your nose next to my neck

and inhale the hours that passed

we observe from the ledge

streets that cross over

people open their windows

and let in the geometry

into their faded eyes

freshness of the smog hits our

enlarged arteries

common faces

reflect the third shift

many metres above the ground

it’s so much closer to

Uranus and Pluto

further from this city

and overflowing bins

you touch my cheek with your lips

- we fall asleep on the roof

game

my fingers move in the air

tracing invisible arabesques

you pretend not to look at me

I pretend not to see it

somehow we have started this game

where quite a lot happens

on the inner side of our

eyelids

the world has not seen

any of that

we play against the odds

only from time to time

we compare notes

via cryptic and short messages

it’s like a great improvisation

just two actors

public is always present

but doesn’t even know they are there

just to view

and be silent

our orbits are irregular

and full of irony

when they cross with

each other

next time we meet

I will bite my lip

you will pretend not to look at me

a sublime game of staring

so complicated

so simple