you say that...
and assume that you know me
you are not the first to do so
nor the last
I squint
and pretend that I agree
I don’t deny it
I don’t raise my voice
with the crooked smile
I nod
veins on my arms
are full and heavy
just like my lips
I wish you were right
at least sometimes
and maybe this pretended
happiness
would be able to survive
these pulls these shakes
these blows
but you are mistaken
and I only pretend
my heart beats
like a badly wound
clock
sometimes I stay away
I look at us
at you
at myself
game of the shadows
and this make-believe
I squint
I nod
and I start to
scream
