*** (you look at me)

you look at me

and probably don’t see it yet

you don’t see flaws

and cracks

you don’t see trembles

that my face goes through

you don’t see the shadows under my eyes

that shouldn’t be this dark

nor the paleness of my face

that is unnatural

you don’t see kilograms

that disappeared

or the scratches

that haven’t been done by the cat

you look at me

and smile in a silly way

I nod

and squint

if I get drunk

I might say something I shouldn’t

if I fail to fall asleep again

I might invite you to my bed

you look at me

and don’t see anything