25/06/2017

violence

the shadows under my eyes
have violent colour
in the not entirely clear way
- they suit me
the brown and blue circles
are what makes
my face mine
- same way the old scars
make my hands mine
or faded tattoos
that cover one of my legs
make this leg also mine
...
I know
that there is also violence
and plenty of violets
in the way my fingers move
when anxiety starts to
fill my body
or in the pulse of my heart
fast and always in a
sort of panic
- there is no reason for it
...
my dreams are always short
happening already after
the end of the world
I breathe easily over there
and for a moment
even my elbows
don't have sharp edges
and feel like
made out of a foam

04/06/2017

dawn

it's already bright outside
and I really try not to think
about all of the reasons
why we should call it off
instead I try to think about:

elephants and how they never
stop growing

parallel evolution of
homo sapiens sapiens and 
homo neanderthalensis

how to fix my bed
so it doesn't scream
in its wooden voice
when we have sex

when it doesn't quite work
I try to think
about something ugly
about you...

but the only ugly thing
I've managed to find
is the fact that you
like me

sky turns
into something
soft and white
I switch off my phone
in the one
final attempt.

morning