WWBD

my friend recently

sent me Bukowski's poem

with a note how it

reminds her of me

but I guess it's more difficult

to be a girl

that doesn't need to be defined

by the man

than a (talented) drunk

I do not have a man or a girl

that I could tell:

hey, I do not need to

be drunk or high

to write

(I don't)

nevertheless

my last relationship

happened years ago

and these days

I am just easy

(if I were a man

I'd be a stud)

and apparently

way too difficult

to be

someone's

golden girl

(but sure:

I can keep the drunk part)

tippex

I sometimes paint my fingernails

it's always black and white

and my nails never resemble

anything else than the fingernails

of someone who bites their fingers

to the bone

I do it even though

my sister always laughs

that it looks like nails coloured

with a sharpie and tippex

(they are not - 

- but they do look like this)

I do it even though

I can't really do it properly

I do it to prove myself

I am in charge

I do it to show the world

I don't care

one time

when I've felt extremely healthy

and brave

I've painted them red